Hello and blessings,
First of all, I commend you for asking such a thoughtful and important question.
As with all good questions, you’ve nicely laid out the considerations on both sides.
On the one hand, there is great importance in being part of the nation’s hardship. As it says in Taanit 11a:
“Our Rabbis taught: When Israel is in distress, and one separates himself from them, two ministering angels come and lay their hands on his head and say: ‘So-and-so who separated from the community shall not see the comfort of the community.’ It was also taught: When the community is in distress, one should not say, ‘I will go to my house, eat and drink, and be at peace with myself.’ If one does so, the verse says about him: ‘And behold joy and gladness, slaying cattle and killing sheep, eating meat and drinking wine, saying: Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we shall die.’ And what is written thereafter? ‘And it was revealed in my ears by the Lord of Hosts: Surely this iniquity shall not be purged from you until you die.’ This is the standard for average people, but regarding the wicked it says: ‘Come, I will fetch wine, and we will fill ourselves with strong drink, and tomorrow shall be as this day, and much more abundant.’ What is written thereafter? ‘The righteous perishes, and no man lays it to heart that merciful men are taken away while no one understands that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come.’ Rather, one should share in the distress of the community, as we find with Moses our teacher, who shared in the community’s distress, as it says: ‘But Moses’ hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon.’ Did Moses not have a cushion or a pillow to sit on? Instead, Moses said: ‘Since Israel is in distress, I too will be with them in distress.’ And anyone who shares in the distress of the community will merit to see its consolation. And lest a person say, ‘Who will testify about me?’ The stones of a person’s house and the beams of his house will testify about him, as it is said: ‘For the stone shall cry out of the wall, and the beam out of the timber shall answer it.’ Rabbi Shila’s school said: The ministering angels who accompany a person testify about him, as it is said: ‘For He will give His angels charge over you.’ Rabbi Hidka said: A person’s soul testifies about him, as it is said: ‘Keep the doors of your mouth from her that lies in your bosom.’ Others say: A person’s limbs testify about him, as it is said: ‘You are My witnesses, says the Lord.'”
Not only this, but vacationing in Israel also fulfills the principle of “Let your brother live with you” by providing livelihood to others. Of course, staying in Israel is of great significance. In this context, supporting livelihoods is the highest form of charity, as Maimonides defines: “There are eight levels of charity, each higher than the next. The highest level is to support a fellow Jew and give him a gift or loan, or make a partnership with him, or find work for him so that his hand is strengthened and he will not need to rely on others. Concerning this, it is said: ‘You shall strengthen him, be he a stranger or a settler, and let him live with you’ (Leviticus 25:35), meaning: strengthen him until he no longer needs help.”
However, one must be cautious not to deceive oneself.
On the other hand, there is a need to relax and recharge, and when that need exists, it should not be ignored. The cost of suppressing such a need and not addressing the relationship dynamics can create cracks in your ability to cope with the difficult reality, agree wholeheartedly to return to reserve duty, and potentially lead to problematic situations.
So, what is the right thing to do? To compromise. Indeed, it is reasonable to go abroad for a vacation, fulfilling a sort of “your needs come before those of others,” and from there return to Israel with renewed energy, ready to help support others’ livelihoods, to contribute to the nation’s well-being, and to strengthen your family and its unity.
Can you walk this path?
Best wishes,
Rabbi Yuval Sherlo, Head of the Tzohar Center for Ethics
