Is One Allowed to Publicize Pictures of Infirm Parents?

Question:

My mother requires assisted living. As a result, I have become a member of Facebook groups dealing with this topic. To my bewilderment I have discovered that there are people that publicize pictures of their infirm parents in these groups. This is very distressing for me, and I felt insulted for the parents (who seemingly cannot feel this way). I reached out to one of them and he answered that something is wrong with me if I feel distressed from this. Frailty and weakness at this age is natural and there is nothing to be embarrassed by, and there is no reason to hide it. This is outrageous to me. I wanted to ask, who is morally correct?

Yashar Koach for the sensitivity and responsibility.

Lets analyze ourselves and based on this we will know the correct answer: are we truly embarrassed only by matters which we are guilty and responsible for, and not embarrassed by things that are entirely not our fault?

Does the fact that everything in us is natural mean that we consent to it being displayed to everyone? Any physical deformity? Any aesthetic defect that we are not responsible for?

Granted, there are men and women amongst us who decided to expose this to everyone, because of the tremendously important reasoning that anything that we are not guilty of and responsible for – should not be embarrassing, and perhaps they even see this as a significant responsibility in order to embolden others. However, a large portion of us, and perhaps even the majority, definitely do not want pictures such as these publicized for all to see.

Therefore, like in many cases of doubt, when there is a significant doubt that the matter may disgrace one’s parents – of course that one should not do this, and act in accordance with the principle “sitting and not acting – is preferable”.

All the best and Yashar Koach,

Rabbi Yuval Cherlow,

Head of the Tzohar Ethics Center

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