Thank you for your question.
Hello and blessings,
Your question leads us on a journey.
Many things are written between the lines, and I cannot be sure that I fully understand everything you are expressing.
I will try to take the first step, and if you would like to continue, I would be happy to do so.
When something sits heavily on our hearts, the first and most important step is not to reject it. Do not fight against yourself. When something appears in our lives, it exists. It weighs on us.
And indeed, death and loss weigh on us. The heart aches and feels unbearably heavy.
This is exactly what is described in this week’s Torah portion—Abraham experiences the death of his wife, Sarah, who had been by his side for decades, perhaps over a century, and she passes away in Hebron:
“Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.”
He did not run from the pain. He did not say, “Everything happens for the best.“ He mourned and wept.
This is a lesson for all generations.
For us, too.
But he also did not remain in his sorrow and grief forever.
The very next words are: “And Abraham rose.”
He still had two major missions in his life left unfulfilled:
He had no land of his own in Israel. His son, Isaac, was not yet married.
And so, in the next two passages, we see his actions:
He purchases a burial site in Israel, securing a piece of the land.
He arranges Isaac’s marriage to Rebecca, ensuring continuity.
This, too, is a lesson for all generations.
You are here, in this world. You possess something unique—something that has never existed before and never will again.
And you have the ability to bring goodness into the world, in your own way.
Do you have the strength to rise and walk this path?
Wishing you all the best,
Yuval Cherlow
Rabbi Cherlow is the Head of the Ethics Department at the Tzohar Rabbinical Organization.
For additional reading:
• How to Respond to an Outburst from Someone Who May Be Suffering from Trauma
• Is There a Commandment to Honor an Abusive Parent?
This question was originally published on the Kipa website.
