Caretaker Vs. Tefillah With a Minyan

Question:

Hello Rabbi! I am a religious man with a disability that requires a caretaker. Some weekdays I have a long workday going from 9 to around 6 and the way home is long and very complicated. My caretaker asked me if I could give up on praying arvit with a minyan and pray at home instead. I will remark that he knew beforehand that I am a religious person who goes to synagogue and that the synagogue is a five-minute walk from my house. Should I fulfill my caretaker’s wishes and pray alone at home? Thank you very much!

Hello,

First, God should provide the best for you and grant you a wonderful life.

You are right that this question has halachic aspects (the level of obligation to pray with a minyan; the halachic status of appreciation (hakarat hatov) of your caretaker etc.), however it is understandably not only halachic.

It is reasonable to assume that the quality of therapy and the caretaker’s approach to you – will be very influenced by this, including the overall wellbeing of your relationship.

Therefore, I propose in this case to tell him that you will meet him in the middle, and for every three times – go twice and miss one. This will express all sides, while strengthening the importance of praying with a minyan.

Do all of this for the next three months.

Then see.

Can you follow this path?

All the best,
Yuval Cherlow
Rabbi Cherlow is the Head of Ethics at the Tzohar Rabbis Organization

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